Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mallu Food or Porn: Take your pick


I have been itching to write this post, you google Mallu and you are inundated with so much of mallu porn that its unbelievable. Though my innocent objective, was to know and write about my experience with Mallu food, but the porn is in your face raw and not airbrushed and crude. There is some eroticism to this rawness, fat, stretchmarks.... must be. My friend Alex a mallu, advises its Kodambakam stuff and ... and I forget is further explanation. I am sure he will fill in his comments. I think he said its generic, all South Indian porn is being touted under the umbrella of Mallu porn.


Switching gears from porn to food, My spiritual guru (Dr Nalin Nirula), once said, the tongue/mouth, ego ( which resides below the navel in the hara chakra) and the groin/genitals are strangely aligned and are in a straight line. They seek and provide pleasure and also a lot of pain in a persons life. Taste, Ego and Sexual Pleasure.


One a more basic plane, I intended to treat and write a simple post on my experience with EOID gang (Eating Out in Delhi) with Mallu food in Sarai Julena near Escorts Hospital on Okhla Road in New Delhi a Sunday evening a few days ago. Should stop using Mallu (as its kind of derogatory which gets to be okay after a while, Bong, Surdie, Punju, Bawa,Ghatti, Gujju, Chinky and so on).

However, I Love M or Kerala food or Cuisine (it has alot of similarity with the Sri-lankan cuisine), but I can't help see the similarity between, Malayalis and Bengalis, in fact Alex mentioned it was in his Middle school text book that the similarities were mentioned, e.g food habits, population density, education levels, and thats it. I have been doing the research for a while, though the edict is mine, I have taken the inputs of Murli (an ex colleague at mint, a mallu, who's worked in Bengal) and Nat (a colleague at Business Standard, a Tamilian, who grew up in Bengal and worked in Kerala), so here it goes......


The- compendium- of- similarities-between- Mallus and Bongs-will- amaze -you.Not included, Bangladeshis as yet(more of that later).
1.Communists and Communist parties (obvious).
2.Football Aficionados (Kerala and West Bengal Football clubs)
3. Hot and Horny Women (Think about it, meditate, you will get your answers)
4.Tea Drinking Lots of it(Kerala drinks a lot more tea and W.Bengal, of course, Adda).
5. Smoking- Lots of it ( Specific brands, Scissors in Kerala and Charms W. Bengal).
6. Marie biscuits- category (Highest sales contribution from the two states).
7.Beef (Permission of cow slaughter, as part of the cuisine).
8.Trade Unionism, similar to 1.
9. Work ethics (both work splendidly out of their home state).
10. Fish as a part of daily cuisine.
11.Ambassador car (fondness for it and you see many more).
12.Coconut trees (plenty grown and used, definitely more in Kerala).
13.Lungi (different formats, same product, extensively used).
14.Fondness for chappals, Bata- Crona and Sandak (probably, monsoon and humidity).
15. Banana/Plantain, (parts of the tree- fruit, raw, stem, flower, leaf used in cuisine extensively).
16.Appreciation of Arts and fine arts.
17. Romantic in disposition.
18. Art films (yes despite the raunchy stuff there is plenty of good stuff from Kerala Directors).
19. High readership of newspapers and magazines.
20. Interest and discussion around politics (at Adda and Chai Kada).
21.Names (Joy, Bijoy and many more are common).
22.Also, high density of population per sq km.
23. High lieracy rates.

So, I love Bengali food and Malayali food, this evening ,I was mentioning about, was at Sarai Julena, 8 of us, Hemanshu, Ashwan, Rohit........ and a Gora and aGori who retreated hastily when they were exposed to our slumdog gourmet destination (so I believe).

We order in parts, however the whole order for 8 burly guys, beef chilly fry, beef masala, beef curry, chicken chilly/pepper, chicken masala, chicken curry, beef biryani, chicken biryani, a single mackerel fried and 36 porrotas. Hungry food, rudimentary flavours, could be better, value for money, slow service (they can handle twosomes and threesomes and not eightsomes). This is in a lane going inside Sarai Julena where you first see a restaurant called Joy's then a Mallu video sale/rental (for your fix of Mallu porn or Adoor Gopalakrishnan, take your pick) a malayali jewellery store and then turn right climb a few stairs into the tubelit steel backed chaired Malabar Restaurant (how original is that).

The meal cost us Rs 650/- for eight persons. That's well below Rs 100/- for local or near local exotica actually it was Rs 81.25 person. I lived up to our Rs100/0 mark for The Salesman's guide to eating out. Albeit unintentionally. No Appam's at night and no Kappa biryani which were to be the highlights of the evening.

Who is your favourite Mallu porn queen ? Shakeela ? Please check her out.

What is Kappa in English ?

Parting shot.... Please add to my list of similarities between Mallus and Bongs. Please do Google images of Bongs and enjoy the fun.

So Long !

7 comments:

Praveen said...

practice makes a man perfect....esp in writing sammy...super stuff..God bless you

surprisingly i cannot handle bengali food but cannot resist mallu food...treatment of spice is poles apart..

i love mallu food..and i love this blog...

mradul said...

Good one sir…A food aficionado would swear by both cuisines..no two ways about it. However simpletons like me only love to gorge down without knowing much details..be it pork cooked in coconut milk or a bheckti in mustard. The other resemblance dimensions bought out is new and deserves a research and I am already on it!! Pl keep writing I love this column..

Raghunath said...

hey sam great writing.unit missed a good food member in amritsar.remember the sunday brunches with ramsingh &poo.caspers raising day party when aulli dada bought fish or was it kaksy.pl also write about differences between nariyal&sarsoon as explained by ramsingh.

Anonymous said...

kappa is tapioca!

Samil said...

Thank you. Absolutely coorect, Kappa is Tapioca

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