If life is a bowl of cherries what am i doing in the pits

Is a question I have often asked myself and have seldom got the answer or guidance

Scene 1:

When I was watering the plants this morning…

I heard the neighbour, Doctors, our age, with kids studying abroad..

I hear the lady singing and then the husband joins in the song and they enjoy the moment … ek pyaar ka naghma ..Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahin …

I cherished their moment and in a way missed a certain companionship.. They drink their rum together ( which I often give , walk together, laugh together, live and love.

It was just a song .., but the mind does tricks with you … about …what  if …

Scene 2:

Family is sitting on a patchwork quilted bedcover, on the bed of course in their large bedroom overlooking greenery and devouring an evening snack consisting  of Dahi Vadas, Chana Masala with a Focaccia bread and luscious Mango pudding (they are in season as in the mangoes, and it’s a Summer holiday) , amidst laughter and joy. They are deciding on the next background song they’d like to hear, daughter wants K- Pop, Mum wants, Mein Chali mein Chali mujhe roke na koi ( an old Hindi Pop) and the Man wants a traditional Sindhi Folk Song ( Dama Dam Mast Kalandar). Another scene of bliss, happiness harmony and love.

What do these marriages have, and let me reverse the question and ask what is the ingredient and ingredients that a bad marriage doesn’t have. Firstly it’s very hard to ascertain a bad marriage. I don’t like the term bad marriage. The often attributed culprits or villains are

Compatibility (or the Lack of of it)

Conflict (issues, even infidelity)

Communication (lack of it, break down and, misconstrued)

Competition (professional or personal)

I would like to add

Culture (dissimilar cultures)

Careers (the time we are building careers, is also the time to strengthen relationships)

It’s important to focus on these to build a marriage and relationships amongst others. However, some of us are beyond the stage of focussing, repairing, building and fixing and pine for a new life, Jahan Gham bhi na ho, aansoo bhi nah ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale. We all deserve that chance and deserve that shot to be happy. We keep dragging it endlessly. Like someone said, there is nothing more dead, than dead love.

We all have that chance to live our lives and give it a second chance, third chance, what the hell its one life. We need to eat the Cherries tooand leave the Pits for others.

Tea at 46 Degrees

 Tea at 46 Degrees:

We were at Mahajan field firing tank ranges, near Suratgarh deep in the Thar desert in Rajasthan .

It was an exceptionally hot summer day. It was not yet noon and I already had 32 glasses of water.. and half a bucket of highly sweetened sherbet of sugar water salt and perhaps some squash for flavor .. the black dungarees were coated with salt from my sweat . I was almost delirious and parched.

The turret of the tank was so hot you couldn’t touch the metal without getting blisters.

We often wondered can we fry eggs and crispen bacon on the metal turret .. we possibly could .. it was so hot.However, hadn’t yet tried it ever.And the heat from the main engine of the tank of 3200 horsepower transmitted an additional 5 degrees...We often laughed at people who would ask us then, aren’t your tanks air conditioned.. fat chance.

So on a day like that ..Just while I was panting under the lone acacia tree my  Squadron JCO Risaldar Major Salauddin Khan (Junior commissioned office, higher in age and experience and lower in rank to a young rookie officer like me), told me... Saab have a hot cup of tea .. it will help a lot with the heat and thirst..( in some matters I took the advice seriously, for their age and experience) 

However, my first reaction... are you kidding me hot tea brewed at noon in the desert.. did he think I was General Rommel in the Sahara. Besides, I was not much of a tea drinker even at the Glacier in sub zero temperatures.

Anyhow, I did have a hot sweetened tea and after 10 minutes the thirst subsided.. mouth wasn’t dry.. it was almost like the tea had calibrated some kind of thermostat in my body.

So today on a June afternoon in Delhi with a heatwave having a late afternoon tea, I was reminded of that day and that lesson.. lost in the desert..

The Beggar’s Kitchen

 The Beggar’s  kitchen 

Many years ago after having a drink toobmany at a Colaba Bar, (Cafe Royal opposite Regal Cinema, where Bill Clinton on a visit to Bombay to the American centre, went to lunch, with his team and Chelsea, they even had his table marked ). I was working with Times of India , on a collaboration with BBC to launch their magazines ( Top Gear , Good Housekeeping etc) in India.Apart from managing the sales of their magazines Femina and Filmfare.

I stumbled upon , one night a push cart , street vendor selling mutton curry and rice.. thinking it’s a great option after a drinking binge .. I ordered one plate/ thali and settled with a mound of rice with generous lashings of mutton curry and onions ... I relished my meal and stood from the sidewalk stone .

I was politely asked to wash my plate at a tap nearby , awestruck .. I thought it was a strange request.. I offered to pay and the man behind the cart and smiled and said it’s a free soup kitchen for beggars. Yes a free beggars kitchen .

I was a bit taken aback , washed up and probed more. He said the traders of Crawford market offer left over grain, spices, meat and vegetables.. yes really the leftovers that can’t be sold . They give them all to this lovely kitchen, which dishes out an enjoyable meal to all and sundry ... beggars.. destitutes and forced bachelor executives after a drinking binge ...

We have Savoured them all from the best cordon bleau cooking .. to Crawford market beggar’s kitchen push cart .. all equally good .. as my Mum would often say ... hunger is the best sauce.

The Parathas Story

Cruises Antarctica Cochin London and Parathas

I often went to Cochin to rustle business for the Cruises to Antartica... yes Antarctica... 

Strangely  Kerala contributed  80 percent of the passengers.. I had painstakingly grown this business from 10 passengers from India to 900 . That’s a lot.

Considering, you couldn’t Tavel to Antartica unless one was in the defence, geography or oceanography from India  a few years ago.

Also the Travelling spirit of Keralites I realised along with Bengalis , Gujaratis , Marwari and Jains is abnormally high.

Antartica the final frontier and cannot be reached by commercial aircraft either.

So my partner travel agents whom I met over Beef Chilli and Malabari Parothas..toddy, beer and lively Kerala meals of Meen Moillee and prawns...floated packages an year in advance ...

One of them was Viceroy travels ... owned by Sindhis..

But this story is not about Kerala, Antartica or Cruises or even Sindhis.. it’s about a humble aloo paratha I had today ..

So Viceroy travels also had a food packaging division which traditionally dealt with prawns and frozen food...

When I visited them as a good friend, (I had taken them for a cruise to Europe gratis), they would invite me for food tastings to their packaged food called something else earlier now called Buffet.

I was impressed with freshness and quality and back to Delhi I hunted and found some products, like the often ordered breaded fish fingers etc.

So one day talking to my Uncle in London in our weekly calls (he is undoubtedly my favorite Uncke), he said whenever my daughters come in to look them up during the Pandemic, I offer them Aloo , Gobhi parathas with Greek yogurt, they love it, ( the Greek yoghurt I can vouch for, when daughter and I visited last we loved it, we may have had the Parathas too).

So he winked (imaginary wink) and told me, he cheated and bought the Parathas off the Indian shelf in a large store at Greenford ( it wasn’t Tescos must have been some other). I said Ahaaann.

I kept thinking about it and one day I called my neighborhood store Greenchick (weird name but that’s another story) and asked for frozen stuffed Parathas, he said yes Buffet brand, ₹110 for 4 , I called for them as part of my list of other goodies.

Tried them this morning with regular yougurt preserves and paraphernalia... they hit the spot we liked them ... decent stuffing flavoring and crispness.

So here it is from Cruises , Antartica, Travel agents , to London to Parathas... an interesting slice okay bite of my life.