If life is a bowl of cherries what am i doing in the pits

Is a question I have often asked myself and have seldom got the answer or guidance

Scene 1:

When I was watering the plants this morning…

I heard the neighbour, Doctors, our age, with kids studying abroad..

I hear the lady singing and then the husband joins in the song and they enjoy the moment … ek pyaar ka naghma ..Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahin …

I cherished their moment and in a way missed a certain companionship.. They drink their rum together ( which I often give , walk together, laugh together, live and love.

It was just a song .., but the mind does tricks with you … about …what  if …

Scene 2:

Family is sitting on a patchwork quilted bedcover, on the bed of course in their large bedroom overlooking greenery and devouring an evening snack consisting  of Dahi Vadas, Chana Masala with a Focaccia bread and luscious Mango pudding (they are in season as in the mangoes, and it’s a Summer holiday) , amidst laughter and joy. They are deciding on the next background song they’d like to hear, daughter wants K- Pop, Mum wants, Mein Chali mein Chali mujhe roke na koi ( an old Hindi Pop) and the Man wants a traditional Sindhi Folk Song ( Dama Dam Mast Kalandar). Another scene of bliss, happiness harmony and love.

What do these marriages have, and let me reverse the question and ask what is the ingredient and ingredients that a bad marriage doesn’t have. Firstly it’s very hard to ascertain a bad marriage. I don’t like the term bad marriage. The often attributed culprits or villains are

Compatibility (or the Lack of of it)

Conflict (issues, even infidelity)

Communication (lack of it, break down and, misconstrued)

Competition (professional or personal)

I would like to add

Culture (dissimilar cultures)

Careers (the time we are building careers, is also the time to strengthen relationships)

It’s important to focus on these to build a marriage and relationships amongst others. However, some of us are beyond the stage of focussing, repairing, building and fixing and pine for a new life, Jahan Gham bhi na ho, aansoo bhi nah ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale. We all deserve that chance and deserve that shot to be happy. We keep dragging it endlessly. Like someone said, there is nothing more dead, than dead love.

We all have that chance to live our lives and give it a second chance, third chance, what the hell its one life. We need to eat the Cherries tooand leave the Pits for others.